How To Be A Hero
by Trek1030
Summary: Shinji was raised in a sweet delusion of rocket-punches, manly pilots, and JAM Project. Can he bring the reality before him inline with the reality in his head? A semi-serious treatment of EVA as the super robot anime it was always meant to be.


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How To Be A Hero

Chapter 1: Strength, Thy Name Is Otaku

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Late 2004…

Ikari Yui hummed quietly to herself as she cleaned up after dinner. Taking her gloves off, she sighed contently to herself and sat down at the counter.

"Life is good," Yui said quietly, a small smile forming on her face. Her little Shinji was almost four years old now, and was a bright, happy little boy. Sure, there were times when it seemed that Shinji would rather spend time alone than with the other children at his school, but he'd grow out of that soon, wouldn't he?

Helping herself to a glass of water, Yui's smile began to grow as she could hear her little boy in the other room. He was watching more of her anime DVD collection, staring in wonder at all the bright colors and giant robots. From the sound of it, he was watching Voltes V this time.

_Just got to make sure he keeps away from Godannar,_ she thought, going through her vast collection in her head, thinking of what might not be appropriate for a child. _Well, at least until he's older. _

All her life, Ikari Yui had been a Super Robot otaku of the most hardcore variety. In addition to a DVD, VCD, and Laserdisc collection containing just about every show ever released featuring a giant robot, her home office now housed the massive collection of merchandise that she had collected over the years. With the birth of her child, Yui spread her obsession to a new generation. Using skills gained from assembling countless model kits, the female otaku created a mobile of chibi-robots for Shinji. Not yet even a year old, Shinji had been given one of Yui's most prized possessions: an SD plushie of Mazinger Z.

Despite the inevitable that her favorite and oldest plushie would soon be covered in various disgusting bodily fluids courtesy of her son, Yui had smiled the brightest she had ever smiled and cried tears of joy when baby Shinji took possession of the stuffed robot. The little guy had giggled loudly and given Mazinger a big hug. Seeing her child with Mazinger Z had been one of the most beautiful things she had ever seen.

Hearing Shinji cry out shocked Yui out of her reminiscence. At the high pitched sound, Yui had bolted up out of her chair. She was nearly at the doorway when Gendo appeared to block her way.

Yui was somewhat shocked to see her husband suddenly appear out of nowhere. Suddenly she remembered that he was in the living room taking care of Shinji as the young boy watched some DVDs.

The man looked down at the bundle in his arms: their crying, four year old son. The child was clearly distraught, clinging tightly to his father.

Walking the distance to his wife, Gendo smiled somberly, a mere upturn of both edges of his lips. Handing Shinji over, Gendo said softly to his wife, "I think this is something that only you can answer, Yui-chan."

Yui gave Gendo a slightly confused look as he walked back out of the kitchen. Giving her full attention to her child, Yui patted his back softly and held him close until he seemed to calm down. Walking over to a chair, she sat down, still holding Shinji.

"Shinji," she said, gaining the child's attention.

"I… I was watching... V-Voltes V," he began, sniffling at the memory, "and their mommy died!"

"Oh, Shin-chan…"

"It made me sad," the little boy continued, his head hung low, "… and then… then… I thought about what if you died, mommy! And it made me more sad."

Yui only held her little guy closer as she continued to listen to his emotional venting.

"Why do all those bad things happen to the robot guys? They're heroes! They don't deserve bad things happening to them…"

"Shinji," Yui smiled sadly, "The robot pilots need to be strong. Not just in body, but also in their hearts. They have a selflessness that drives them to protect other people because they don't want anyone else to know pain like theirs."

"I don't wanna ever be a robot pilot!" Shinji pouted, holding his mother tighter, afraid she could disappear at any moment. "I thought they were cool… but I don't want my family to die!"

"There, there," Yui said, trying to comfort her son, "You don't have to be anything you don't want to be, Shin-chan."

Shinji remained silent, just content in the safe feeling of his mother's arms.

"Ya know," Yui started, "even if their parents are gone, they're never alone."

"Really?" Shinji questioned, looking up at his mother with a curious look in his eyes.

"They always have someone watching over them," Yui answered, "no matter how hard things are, they're never alone. You don't have to be alone to be strong."

"Hmm…" Shinji thought hard, scrunching his cute little face in deep thought. Yui had to withhold her laughter at such an adorable sight.

"Oh, I know!" Shinji exclaimed, something having clicked in his mind, "Like in Tosho Daimos!"

"Good job, Shinji," Yui congratulated, proud of her son's budding otaku knowledge.

"When Kazuya first rode Rover-78," Shinji said excitedly, his words beginning to speed up, "he didn't want to. But then, his daddy left a recording for him! He said he was with him in spirit! And then he was all like 'alright, I'll to this!' And then his best friend and little sister were in the jet to help him! And then-"

"Well, aren't you just the cutest little otaku-chan!" Yui smiled brightly, very proud of her son. Shinji beamed, smiling right back at her. Though after a bit, the smile began to waver and the little boy's head dropped again.

"What's wrong Shin-chan?"

"um…" he began, very quietly, "I still don't think I want to be a robot pilot… sorry, mommy… I wanted be like all those heroes you watch on TV… but I don't think I can…"

"Oh, that's alright," Yui comforted, "You just do whatever you want and be happy."

"Okay, mommy," Shinji slowly murmured with his eyelids drooping, the excitement starting to tire him out.

"Could you tell me, Shinji?" Yui asked, the curiosity nagging at her, "Why don't you think you can be a robot pilot?"

"Because!" Shinji nearly whispered, starting to tire out, "I only have you and daddy! I don't have anyone else… grandpa… big brother… little sister… best friend… I'll be all alone if you and daddy are gone…"

"Oh, don't you worry your cute little head about that," Yui whispered to the sleepy boy. Getting up, she began to slowly walk to the child's room to lay him down. Seeing Gendo about to talk to her, she quietly shushed him, pointing to their drowsy child. Smiling knowingly, Gendo kissed both of them and retreated to the master bedroom.

"I'll always be with you, Shinji," Yui whispered into his ear, "No matter what ever happens to me, remember that I'll always love you…"

She arrived at Shinji's room and slid the door open. Laying the boy down on the futon, Yui pulled the sheets up to tuck him in while beginning to sing a lullaby. It was an inspiring song that sounded haunting as the young woman sang it slowly and a capella; the otaku mother softly sang to her child the first opening to Ultraman Nexus, "Hero" by Doa.

"…_if you are a man… then for someone else you will be strong…"_

Yui kept singing as she brought the sheets up, over her son's chest.

"_..same thing for women… nothing will happen if you just stand by…"_

She gazed longingly at her little boy's sleeping face, noting how peaceful he slept.

"…_You just need to stand up for what is right…"_

Yui scooted over, kneeling by the sleeping child, seeing his unconscious smile as Shinji could hear his mother's singing.

"…_If you can do just that… you are a hero…"_

She took in the sight of the sleeping child, realizing just how perfect her little guy was.

"…_if you are a man… then for someone else you will be string…"_

Yui stared at her son while continuing to sing, dreaming of what kind of man he would grow up to be. One to make her proud, no doubt.

"_..clench you teeth and fight until the end…"_

Yui continued to sing, hearing the backup music in her head.

"…_and if you fall down… just pick yourself up again…"_

Yui hoped that Shinji could one day be that strong.

"…_if you can do just that… you are _my_ hero…"_

Yui got up quietly and left the room, taking one longing look back her child, promising to herself that she would succeed in bringing a bright future to her wonderful sleeping child. A glorious future, where he wouldn't need to be a hero.

Yui was already gone from the room when Shinji quietly spoke in his sleep, answering her lovely song.

"I will, mommy… I'll be your hero…"

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"From now on, you will go live with Takeshi-sensei in Neo Osaka."

At the harsh words of his father, Shinji only nodded. The little boy felt like crying again, but there were no more tears left for him to shed. Shinji stood with his father on the station platform, waiting for the train that would bring him to his new home. In just a few minutes, Gendo would be out of his life for a long time.

The last week had been a trying time for Shinji; the death of his mother to a big monster and the fact that his father had never smiled at him again since that day. In his mind, the little boy had already named the big, purple behemoth that had consumed his mother. Unable to read the English words "Unit-01" inscribed on the robot's arm, Shinji began to think of the mecha as the "Big (_dai_) Purple (_murasaki_) Thing." Being an impressionable young child of an otaku, he began to believe; the path his life was taking mirrored much too closely the stories that he had once watched with his mother.

'_DaiMurasaki…'_ the name echoed in the young boy's head, '_…Mommy's robot…'_

"Um… father…" Shinji piped up, hoping to get some response. Gendo remained standing there, yet made no movement or sound to acknowledge his son. Seeming hopeful, Shinji pushed down his feelings of loneliness and continued.

"I-if… if you need me… for _anything_… I-I… I'll be there…"

With no response, Shinji shut his tiny eyes and forced himself through more…

"Mommy…. Mommy… wanted me to be happy… but… but I'll be strong… like all those heroes that she loves…"

Wondering whether or not to expect a hug, Shinji opened his eyes to see Gendo just start to turn and walk away from him, leaving him on the train platform. Wordlessly, the older man continued to walk away, no acknowledgement of his son, his face a stone carving with a piercing glare. Within Gendo's shattered heart, though, screamed a new pain; the words from his son bringing to life once more a part of his beloved Yui.

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In the year 2015, Ikari Shinji sat in his seat, watching the scenery pass by his train car window. With a neutral expression, he pulled out the letter from his father for what seemed like the hundredth time that day.

It had been only once during the last ten years that Shinji had seen his father. Three years ago, in 2012, Shinji had finally saved up enough money to buy a train ticket to Tokyo-3. He went there on the anniversary of his mother's death with only one goal in mind: to visit his mother's grave. At the cemetery, Shinji had reached the grave, only to see his father already there. Father and son stood silently in front of the grave, remembering the woman they had both loved. No words passed between the two men as minutes turned into hours. And despite everything inside him clawing at him to speak, Shinji remained mute as Gendo finally turned began to walk out of his life once more.

'_I wonder what he wants…'_ Shinji thought, genuinely curious. His fingers traced the edge of the other item in the package, an ID card with his name and picture in it. _'And what the _hell_ is NERV?'_

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To Be Continued…

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Author's note:

The main premise of this fic is: What if Shinji grew to be a Super Robot pilot? Shinji is already a typical super robot pilot; they're all full of doubt and self-pity. The only difference is that Shinji lacks the strength to rise above that to become a hero. Most people seem to overlook how easily Evangelion (especially the first half of it) fits into the traditional framework of a Super Robot Anime. And most people tend to look at Super Robot Animes like a big joke, usually because they've never watched any. Stupid n00bz =)

And yes, I do recognize the irony in Yui telling Shinji that he doesn't need to be a hero before proceeding to sing him a song about how to be a selfless hero. But hey, she's an otaku. They're like that.


End file.
